Saturday, September 10, 2011

Living Intentionally: An Inner Excavation Day Part II

I've spent the last several hours praying with, playing with, journaling, and creating with the word enthusiasm.  (If you'd like to know Living Intentionally...Part I)
I don't know that I came any closer to the answers to my questions, but I did have some interesting experiences!  First I went on an image walk...I took my camera and snapped photos of things that stood out to me in relationship to my word enthusiasm.  Here's a little montage (Gotta have a...MONTAGE)
Grass growing
Going down backwards!

Add caption
My car has "insight"

 Pretty random stuff. I think.  Things that represent play, energy, and growth are the themes I see that connect all of them. 

I did some photos of me walking and skipping too...

Just for fun.  See what enthusiasm might look like from my head to my feet.  :-)

Then, I created these eyedropper ink pictures...which one do you think spoke to me the most of enthusiasm?




If you said #2 you're......................WRONG!  Actually, when I sat with the pictures, it was #3 that stood out.  Something about the girl seems more real...genuine and contemplative.  #2 is the "Tap-dancer" know the type--center of attention, always keeping the party alive.  I think the Tap-dancer has surface enthusiasm, but #3 is has it buried deep within and only comes out on special occasions.  She is the "Questioner"--taking her experiences and letting them soak in. 

I used to be the Tap-dancer.  I was enthusiastic on the outside about almost anything!  I had a big shift in me a couple years ago while my journey led me down a long and unknown path.  I found this person who is quite reflective, contemplative, and introverted.  It was such a relief for me to find this part of myself because it really fit me; I'm much more comfortable in my own skin.  Whereas...when I was was at great effort sometimes to keep that energy going.  The Questioner me likes to take in my surroundings and let the process germinate before reacting.  When I am experiencing's usually a combo package of energy and deep passion for something I believe strongly in.  It's much more real for me. 

I end with a fun poem from one of my favorite poets: Hafiz.  I think his poems are so visual and capture these deep, sometimes inexplicable things with humor and images.  I think this is the Hafiz interpretation of someone who forgets their enthusiasm...  Enjoy....

We Might Have To Medicate You

Resist your temptation to lieBy speaking of separation from God,
Otherwise,We might have to medicateYou.

In the oceanA lot goes on beneath your eyes.Listen,
They have clinics there tooFor the insaneWho persist in saying things like:"I am independent from theSea,

God is not always around

Gently Pressing againstMy body."

Bottom line for me...If I fall into a trap of persistence that I am "independent from the sea"...some one knock me over the head with this poem. try and see where God is in all of this first it seemed obvious...God is in all things. But as I continued to reflect on my Questioner and Tap-Dancer personas...I came back to something I've written about and said before. At the deepest place of my being is where my passion is. That's where my questions are. That's where my journey continues. That's where I grow and learn the most. It's who I am at my core...and inside of me...that's where God is. maybe there is more to this enthusiasm stuff.

What struck me the most was...I drew this card and thought SA-WEET...something easy. I can prance around all day and think about being enthusiastic. My reality was a very quiet and reflective day understanding a little more about where I find these characteristics that I sometimes forget are inside of me. It was definitely a surprise...and from the old definition of enthusiastic...inspiration from the presence of God.

I enthusiastically bid you adieu....thanks for reading.

Living Intentionally: An Inner Excavation Day...Part 1

Today I am having "Inner Excavation Day"--A day to pray, play and create.  I'm really trying to work on the concept of "living intentionally"; and an inner excavation day seemed to fit right in! 

The task:  I decided to use my Angel cards (little cards that have a word on them) and choose a word for today.  That word would become the focus of my activities today.

 Now...I truly believe the Holy Spirit is at work when I do things like this.  I always get the word I need not necessarily the word I  want.  In fact, most frequently, I get a word that makes me cringe and squirm and I don't discover why it was the perfect word for the day until much later...sometimes days, weeks later!  So...I shuffled my little cards.  Spread them out.  Said a little prayer like, " me to be open to the possibilities of today," and I chose one. 

Flipped it over (crossing my fingers and toes that it wouldn't be something like "growth" or "mercy" or "feelings") and I got...

ENTHUSIASM!  Wow!  What a fun word to choose!  Thanks for the easy road, Spirit.  Did I just say, easy road?  HA!  Discovering--excavating, if you will, is not easy.  Sometimes it's more fun than other times.  Sometimes it's happy sometimes it's painful--but nothing about this is easy.  Good thing I like a challenge.

So I'm into enthusiasm today.  I sat in my comfy chair and just sat in the quiet for a bit.  I had already gone for a run this morning--did I run with enthusiasm?  What does it really mean to live with enthusiasm?  Where is God in the day-to-day enthusiasm?  Do I really know what the word means?
I couldn't really answer the last 3 questions; I gathered this is what today's quest is going to be about. 

Do I really know what enthusiasm means?

I had some initial, joy, passion, active, happy, bouncy...ok...I usually have one or more of these characteristics going on.  So what?  I looked it up and this is what I found from Wikepedia:

Enthusiasm originally meant inspiration or possession by a divine afflatus or by the presence of a god. Johnson's Dictionary, the first comprehensive dictionary of the English language, defines enthusiasm as "a vain belief of private revelation; a vain confidence of divine favour or communication." In current English vernacular the word simply means intense enjoyment, interest, or approval.

INSPIRATION or POSSESSION...BY THE PRESENCE of [GOD].  Are you kidding me?  How awesome is that?  I had no idea that was the original meaning.  What a great starting off I reframed my questions a bit thanks to Wikepedia. 

How am I inspired by the presence of God? the day-to-day? the bigger picture?  Do I live with enthusiasm? Let's see how the day unfolds...