I think I've turned over a new leaf. I have to leave my house by 7. I've been getting up between 6 and 6:15a.m. (sometimes 6:30 ha!). I have an automatic coffee maker so I take my cup o' Joe and put on Pray-as-you-go. I've blogged about this website before. It's really really a great way to pray. It's 10-13 minutes, has some world music, the reading of the day and thoughtful reflection questions. I've found that centering myself for these 10ish minutes has been a great start to my day.
Last week, or the week before (I forget which day), one of the readings was Jesus telling the guys to cast their nets into the deep waters. I was praying and that image of casting into the deep really struck me. I spent the last 11 months "casting" a lot into my deepest spaces and being challenged with the hardest situations of my life. I still find that underneath the tough stuff (ya know...hurt and other yuck) is love...just love. That is when I have the rare occasion and I'm more comforted and can say, "Ok God...I don't like this, but you're in charge. I have the love." The other times are much more frustrating. I guess if I keep casting...it will come. Not a big fan of the whole surrender thing. It's not so bad when your deep carries love, though. I just need to remember that.
|Casting into My Deep--9/20/10 KML|